Jun. 21st, 2009 07:33 pm
Fic rec: Lunch and other obscenities
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unjapanologist'Lunch and other obscenities' is a delightful Star Trek reboot fic that focuses on how roommates Uhura and Gaila learn to cope with their rather substantial cultural differences. Gaila's portrayal feels incredibly sympathetic and real. She's outgoing, confident, and looks forward to living in a society that's entirely new to her. Soon, the realities of dealing with a set of vastly different customs get to her, and she becomes terribly lonely until she and Uhura figure out how to respect each other.
I'd like every one of our Belgian students who goes to spend a year in Japan to read this fic, or something like it, and read it again once they've actually been there for a couple of months. Most of those students, like others before them, choose Japanese Studies because they love Japan or some aspect of it. The first couple of weeks spent in Japan on a government scholarship are like a dream come true. After a while, the novelty starts to wear off and it becomes obvious that some Japanese customs are so far removed from what we've been taught in Belgium that it's an incredible chore to try and respect them. (It doesn't even have to be anything big; the most insignificant thing can start grating on you after a while. For some reason I truly don't get in restrospect, I found the prohibition on eating while walking too much to handle and deliberately munched potato chips while strolling around in the street as a petty act of rebellion.)
At that point, you need to choose between actively working to understand the mechanics behind these apparently crazy customs that bug you so, or saying "Fuck it" and just enjoying the year in Japan in whatever way works out for you, for instance by associating only with people who won't take obvious offense at a freewheeling attitude. We can afford to do the latter. Most of us study in Japan while supported by one-year government scholarships that won't be terminated if we act up, unless we do something incredibly disturbing. We're more or less untouchable; we're not foreign workers whose livelihood, safety, and home could be compromised if they refuse to conform to 'Japanese' societal norms. For us, conforming or not conforming is a real choice.
It's hard to try and get the hang of a society that, however welcoming, seems completely alien in so many situations. The first couple of months I spent in my university's archery club were very difficult: I was the only non-Japanese there, I didn't understand what the other members were saying three quarters of the time, and I could never figure out the appropriate response to a situation. For example, the others kept inviting me to after-training meetups in a nearby restaurant, but I always refused because my finances wouldn't support eating out almost daily. It took me forever to realize that the older club members always took up the juniors' bill, and that my constant refusal to join in this bonding activity was extremely puzzling to my fellow club members. They kept trying to befriend me, bless them, until we all figured out more or less simultaneously that we were having three misunderstandings per minute and just had to ask each other more questions. The rest of the year was bliss. I cannot thank those patient, patient people enough for all they did for me. But for a long time, I was lonely and miserable and felt like I was 'failing' at living in Japan.
When confronted with the harsh realities of truly living with people whose behaviour and expectations can seem utterly outlandish, we can try to take the easy road and evade the challenge entirely. When first confronted with Gaila's seemingly outrageous customs, Uhura's first response is to try and get herself assigned a new and more acceptable roommate. When we go to Japan as Belgian/European/'Western' foreign students, we find ourselves in the extremely privileged position of actually having the option of evading the challenge without having to fear any kind of retribution.
Let's act like adults and make an effort for once in our generally very privileged lives, okay?
(This goes for all of us, but particularly for the male students whose main aim is to meet Japanese girls at student parties. You know who you are. Guys, I can't begin to enumerate on how many levels that is just plain wrong. You're likable and fun individuals, really, but get a clue.)
I'd like every one of our Belgian students who goes to spend a year in Japan to read this fic, or something like it, and read it again once they've actually been there for a couple of months. Most of those students, like others before them, choose Japanese Studies because they love Japan or some aspect of it. The first couple of weeks spent in Japan on a government scholarship are like a dream come true. After a while, the novelty starts to wear off and it becomes obvious that some Japanese customs are so far removed from what we've been taught in Belgium that it's an incredible chore to try and respect them. (It doesn't even have to be anything big; the most insignificant thing can start grating on you after a while. For some reason I truly don't get in restrospect, I found the prohibition on eating while walking too much to handle and deliberately munched potato chips while strolling around in the street as a petty act of rebellion.)
At that point, you need to choose between actively working to understand the mechanics behind these apparently crazy customs that bug you so, or saying "Fuck it" and just enjoying the year in Japan in whatever way works out for you, for instance by associating only with people who won't take obvious offense at a freewheeling attitude. We can afford to do the latter. Most of us study in Japan while supported by one-year government scholarships that won't be terminated if we act up, unless we do something incredibly disturbing. We're more or less untouchable; we're not foreign workers whose livelihood, safety, and home could be compromised if they refuse to conform to 'Japanese' societal norms. For us, conforming or not conforming is a real choice.
It's hard to try and get the hang of a society that, however welcoming, seems completely alien in so many situations. The first couple of months I spent in my university's archery club were very difficult: I was the only non-Japanese there, I didn't understand what the other members were saying three quarters of the time, and I could never figure out the appropriate response to a situation. For example, the others kept inviting me to after-training meetups in a nearby restaurant, but I always refused because my finances wouldn't support eating out almost daily. It took me forever to realize that the older club members always took up the juniors' bill, and that my constant refusal to join in this bonding activity was extremely puzzling to my fellow club members. They kept trying to befriend me, bless them, until we all figured out more or less simultaneously that we were having three misunderstandings per minute and just had to ask each other more questions. The rest of the year was bliss. I cannot thank those patient, patient people enough for all they did for me. But for a long time, I was lonely and miserable and felt like I was 'failing' at living in Japan.
When confronted with the harsh realities of truly living with people whose behaviour and expectations can seem utterly outlandish, we can try to take the easy road and evade the challenge entirely. When first confronted with Gaila's seemingly outrageous customs, Uhura's first response is to try and get herself assigned a new and more acceptable roommate. When we go to Japan as Belgian/European/'Western' foreign students, we find ourselves in the extremely privileged position of actually having the option of evading the challenge without having to fear any kind of retribution.
Let's act like adults and make an effort for once in our generally very privileged lives, okay?
(This goes for all of us, but particularly for the male students whose main aim is to meet Japanese girls at student parties. You know who you are. Guys, I can't begin to enumerate on how many levels that is just plain wrong. You're likable and fun individuals, really, but get a clue.)
